I found this video of a wild european glass lizard last week. I’m becoming increasingly obsessed with it.
It moves like Dale Winton’s disembodied arm thrashing through a bush.
It looks like a penis that has been cursed by a witch.
When it starts to swim it looks a brown condom possessed by the spirit of a sea serpent.
It’s like a poorly designed anamatronic snake rallying against its programming.
I’m not a fan of the name European glass lizard. It doesn’t quite convey how different it looks like to other legless lizards. I’m going to champion a new name, possibly “The Blight”. I reckon that’ll envoke it’s sad eyes and anger at a cruel creator.